Monday, November 16, 2009

Being pregnant...

Mine was a textbook pregnancy. Everything was perfect. I felt good, I looked good, everything was according to schedule. I gained a bit more weight than I should have, but the doctor said I was too skinny to start with...We didn't know if it was a boy or a girl, and we said we didn't care....as long as it was healthy. Isn't that what they always say??

My doctor was the same doctor that I had been going to since I'd lived in that town...well, it was only a couple years at that time. He ended up being my doctor for over 20 years though. He and his wife were also expecting at the same time as I was, which made it even more fun!

The only thing that made me sick while I was pregnant was the smell of coffee...which is strange, because I was a coffee drinker. But, it was not problem..I just didn't drink it while I was pregnant. Wasn't supposed to anyway...I really enjoyed being pregnant, thought, because it felt good. I felt special, people treated you differently - like you were going to break or something. It felt good to be nurturing and feeling a person growing inside of me.

We both were excited, in spite of the fact that we didn't have much money. I started sewing and knitting...making things for the baby. My parents were excited too, cause it was their first grandchild. Even though I don't think they liked Jack, they liked the fact that I was going to give birth to their first grandchild.

All was going well...till about my eighth month. That was when we received an eviction notice from our landlord. We were three months behind in our rent and we had three days to get out. I didn't know what to do...but Jack somehow got an old couple in our church to let us move into one of their rental houses, with the promise that we would pay them. (We were going to a Baptist church at the time..) So it took a day or so for all the friends we had to help us move, and they didn't let me do a thing! It was nice!

The house we moved into was much smaller, but we made do. It had two bedrooms, but all the rooms were really small. At that time, his oldest daughter was not living with us, but his son was.THAT was not a good time. I remember having lots of arguments with him, lots of yelling and Jack having words with him. The boy got into some trouble during that summer. He thought he knew better than anyone. He yelled at me a few times, and I was glad that Jack stood up for me during that time.

We stayed in it for awhile. That was where we lived when my daughter was born in August of 1984, and it was just like Christmas!!

Life goes on....

After living in that first house for about four years, Jack and I found another house in a little town not far from where we were living. We had moved up a little bit, we thought, as he had gone to work for an oil well fracturing outfit and was making pretty good money. This was in the 1980's when the oil industry was booming. The house was bigger, and nicer, and we thought we were doing pretty good. We could even have company and parties...We actually had the room now!

During this time, our friends, Netta and Larry, another couple who were both divorced and had ended up marrying each other, were a big part of our lives. They found a house outside of our little town, and we saw them a lot. She helped me fix up the house that we moved into, and she was also my best friend at the time. She ended being my best friend for a long, long time. We had some good talks, and we shared a lot of intimate things at the time.

We didn't live in that house for very long before Jack, in the midst of his oil fracturing employment, was asked to move to another town in Kansas. This was a pretty big deal for us, but we decided to do it. He went on ahead and lived with some friends for the time being, until I could move out there with all of our stuff, and his kids. I don't remember it taking very long, and we had the move made. His kids were growing up, but still a handful. The oldest was very independent, and I had some big arguments with her about who was going to be boss. The boy, who, when he was small, was very kind and tenderhearted, became lippy and sarcastic. He was a pain to be around. The youngest girl I think was doing fine. When we moved, the oldest came with us, as she was living with us at the time. The other two visited us on weekends, or when they could.

Our new life in the south central Kansas town was fine at first. We found a house that would fit us all, and we were comfortable there for a while. It had a large living room, two bedrooms, a nice back porch, and a big front porch. After we had been there only a little while, our friends, who we had been close to before, also moved to this new town with us. He worked for the same outfit that Jack did, several times, through several jobs. I remember lots of evenings sitting on the porch, drinking beer or coffee, and talking. About kids, about work, about whatever...

The oil well fracturing outfit that Jack worked for decided to go out of business in that town, and we didn't want to move to the Oklahoma town they were going to. So, Jack was out of work, again, and soon found a job with a trucking company. It was with a small company, owned and operated by a woman. She was shrewd, outspoken, a penny-pincher, and sometimes downright rude. I didn't like her, or the fact that he worked for her. He hauled grain for her, and was gone a lot. He lost money while he worked for her, having to get advances on his paycheck. This was a really tough time for us...and for our friends who were also still in the same town with us. He left that job to go to another trucking job in ElDorado, Kansas...he and our friend, Larry. Netta and I and the kids stayed at home, taking care of the kids, eating peanut butter sandwiches, popcorn, and trying to keep our chins up about being so friggin broke all the time. It was not fun...

Netta and Larry decided to pack up and go back to southeast Kansas where they both had family. We stayed in south central Kansas...to keep on going. Before things got too much worse, though, Jack got a job at the local meat-packing company, inside the factory.

This turned out to be a life-changing move for us.

I got pregnant. We had been trying for about 4 years, and I had all but given up on ever having my own child. It was something that I really thought I wanted. I wanted to be a 'mom' at least once in my life. We had the usual doctor's check ups to see if we were 'ok'. I was...he wasn't. His sperm count was low. So...we sort of forgot about it and left it up to God. But, because his sperm count was low, due to his sitting all the time in a truck, his standing in a cool place - the meat packing factory - caused his sperm to come alive!! We think so, anyway!! I was happy..he was happy...it was like things started looking better. We knew that we didn't have the money to raise a child, but, we figured, who does?? We were just going to make the best of it, and do what we could!