Wednesday, October 21, 2009

College as a freshman...

Yes, it had to be hard to leave their only girl at college that year. They left me at my dorm, called Denious Hall, and they took off to go back to Norway, with my little brother in tow. I'm sure they were going to make a stop or two at the grandparents' house before going back overseas.

Well, there I was. At a small college in Kansas....just like I wanted. It was a beautiful campus...plenty of trees, gorgeous buildings, and all those students to get to know....I was shy...and it was hard for me to make friends, but I did ok, despite that. My roommate, whom I had already met, was from the Kansas City area, and so she seemed pretty familiar with everything. She also seemed a bit flaky. But who was I to say?? The rooms were arranged in twos, with a bathroom in between. So there were two girls in each room, making up a suite. My suite-mates were SO badly matched it wasn't even funny. One of them was a bleached blond cheerleader type from the KC area as well, and the other was a long haired, peace-loving ballet dancer that didn't look kindly on nonsense. It was a terrible match. And I think they knew it from the start. I became friends with the dancer right off, and the other girl became friends with my roommate. So it worked out ok....

I walked around the campus, to my classes, anywhere I needed to go, cause I didn't have a car. We looked on the students who DID have a car as being either very rich or very lucky. But really, unless we wanted to go out of town, there was no need for a car. It was just a luxury that we couldn't afford. Walking was good, anyway. And when you had a friend with you, it was even better.

We explored the downtown part of Baldwin, which was basically two streets long. There was a post office, a bank, a jewelry store, a general store, a movie theatre (open only on weekends), a hardware store, and a few other gift shops, etc. The general store was where we spent most of our time, looking around and making a few purchases. They had all kinds of stuff.

The college itself had lots of organizations that you could join. This was 1972 and there was a lot going on in the world at that time. I remember the black organization called Mungano; and there was probably a political society of some sort; a Native American group; a theatre group. I remember getting involved in the Vietnam Veterans Against the War through some friends. I'm not sure if it was that year, or maybe the next year. But I participated in a walk they had that was 20 miles long....through Lawrence and around through another little town. There were vets in wheelchairs, with canes, and I remember thinking "If they can do it, so can I." It was a very peaceful demonstration, and I'm sure it showed a lot of people what the VVAW was all about.

It was a time of protest, of rethinking your values, of joining or not joining, of finding who you were. And I did just that....

I was sucked into a sorority that year as well. Since my mom had been a Tri-Delt, I could have joined that sorority just by being her daughter. But Rush Week, that week where you go around and visit all the houses, showed me that I really didn't want to belong to that group. Each one of them had sort of a label. The Alpha Chi's were all cute and pretty; the Phi Mu's were jocks; the Tri-Delts were cute and pretty too, and the Zeta Tau's were pretty normal...maybe even nerds. But they seemed the most down-to-earth to me, and so I agreed to pledge that sorority. I had some good friends there...and they had fun. But it wasn't long before I realized that I didn't belong to that groups...or any group. I really didn't want to belong to any organization where you had to be their friend, to the exclusion of other groups. I wanted to get to know everyone! And so I ended up de-pledging that same year. I wanted to be an 'independent'!!!

Sadly, I remember getting involved in some drinking, and that lead to the loss of my virginity. I guess that was part of the college scene at the time, and probably still is. There was a little beer joint on the highway that we went to for fun....but there was also drinking going on in the dorms and the fraternity houses....well, there was plenty off campus too...in some of the off-campus housing. I don't think it was really my thing...but I joined in anyway. I dated...but I was so confused about what was expected of me as a woman in the company of a guy...it all got screwed up. I don't know where it came from, and maybe all young girls go through this, but I probably equated sex with love. Relationships confounded me from the start.....

So..I fell in and out of love several times that year. But I got through it somehow.

Oh yea...my classes!! I started out, like I said, majoring in music. I had lots of classes in music, piano, and then the regular freshman requirements. It was great, and I really enjoyed it. I did decide, however, that year, that I didn't want to practice piano quite that much. I realized it was just a recreational thing for me...but I stayed with it that year. I was trying to decide what else I could major in, though. The academics at Baker were really good, and I liked that school a lot. The library was the greatest. A big tall two story building, and the second story looked down on the first when you were inside. They had lots of historical things to see in there, stained glass windows from the old buildings and churches..things like that. And since it was a Methodist school, the Methodist church was a big deal for the town. I went there a few times, and was in awe of the building. Many of the buildings on campus were old...as, I found out, Baker was the oldest school in Kansas.